South Philly Rules the Universe, Especially Jersey

This one ain't even close. Philly kicks South Jersey's ass every time, in everything. Mike Doe agrees, at least when he's visiting Philly.

Making It to New York City, by Bus
Travel Warning: Non-Menstrual Bus Cramps
Free Booze at the United Nations
Funniness and Shots at Standup New York
Pigging Out at WD-50, Minus the Cheese

South Philly Rules on Twitter, You Better Listen Up

And check out my boy, Mike Doe, at http://twitter.com/mikedoe.

South Philly Rules Every Part of New Jersey

This cannot be repeated too many times. South Philly rules every part of that stinkhole called New Jersey!

Let me repeat: South Philly rules all of New Jersey!

Ever been to Jersey? No? Then go there and we'll talk.

South Philly rules New Jersey. Case closed. Fughedaboutit!

P.S. Dalton from Road House agrees with me!

South Philly Rules, #254

Never eat a cheesesteak without cheese wiz!

South Philly Rules ... All of New Jersey

Hey, I've dated a few Jersey girls in my day, don't get me wrong, but it's no contest here. South Philly rules New Jersey, baby...all of it! Even a huge fan of hairspray like Dalton from Road House would agree with my assessment. And he ain't exactly a South Philly goombah!

South Philly Rules, #119

Whenever you cross the street, always keep your hands out of your pockets in case you need to give any passerbies the finger.

South Philly Rules, Number 117

This one's simple. #117 says, don't eat gum before you hit the steakhouse. Otherwise you're paying good money for guy, your mouth's all sticky, and you don't get the full tastiness of the steak.

South Philly Rules -- At Least 2 Drinks Per Bar

This one seems self-explanatory, but if you ain't willing to buy two drinks, or better yet, five, then why the hell go to a bar in the first place? Seriously. Fuhgedaboutit!

South Philly Rules -- #1 Don't Talk Smack about My Sister!

I still can't believe that fat wino Pete besmirched my sister Maria's good name by calling her a hoo-a! My baby sister Maria?! A hoo-a?! Who-a the hell does he think he is?!

Wino Pete is going down because South Philly Phil will be trowing him a beating right quick! I'm already training like rocky for our fight. He's going to learn the way we do things in South Philly!